Not an Alpha Dog

http://clipart-for-free.blogspot.com/2008/07/free-dog-clip-art.htmlion

This weekend I was visiting with my dad.  My step-mom is a teacher, so our conversations frequently turn to the topic of school.  While we were chatting, my dad asked me what my philosophy was on discipline.  He asked if I take the Alpha Dog approach or the gentler approach.  What he meant was, do I use the "I am the adult, so you must listen" method.

I told him Alpha Dog is not my style, because I prefer to build positive relationships.  I'm not sure if he agreed with my technique (he pictures himself as being old school tough even though he is a teddy bear at heart).  As I drove home I realized though, that really my dad and mom were the ones that taught me the relationship technique.

As a child, I grew up in a fairly calm house with limited yelling.  I'm sure there were moments that my sister and I sent our parents over the edge, but those times were pretty rare.  I in turn have tried to use those same methods with my own children and students.  I want to give and model for them that same sense of calm.  For example, the other day a student came into the building wearing a hat.  An Alpha Dog would have barked at the student to take that hat off.  I instead complimented the student on his cool hat, but told him he would have to take off until he left the building.  In both methods, the objective would have been met of having the student remove his hat, but I'm hoping that with my method, the student also sees school as a safe place.  A place where there are rules, but everyone is treated with kindness and respect.

So far the gentler approach has worked out well for me.  I have daughters that are fairly well-behaved, and I have created positive relationships with students and parents.  Every once in awhile, I'm sure the Alpha Dog must rear her head, but for the most part, I prefer to leave her in the doghouse.